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Welcome to my blog!  I document my life, in all it's messy imperfections.

I'm Living My Fear and Didn't Even Know It

I'm Living My Fear and Didn't Even Know It

This weekend I had a session with my therapist.  I was telling her that I have a big fear that I won't ever find someone to marry, that I'll end up alone.  Romantic relationships have not been the easiest for me, but I do want to eventually get married to someone amazing.  

After the therapy session, I went to a coffee shop to write.  It was in jotting down my thoughts, that I discovered the irony of my fear.  I am living it right now!  I am single, alone, and, honestly, loving it.  It made me laugh to think that this fear that I have, that I feel is way out there in the future, is actually happening to me right now, and I didn't even realize it.  And because I am living this fear right now, I can see that it is not as bad as I thought.  These last few weeks I have discovered new sights in NYC (Conservatory Gardenthe Ukrainian Museum, the LowlineBig Gay Ice Cream, the Folk Art Museum), started a new work gig, and socialized with various friends.   

Fear can be sly.  Sometimes, like in my case, our fears are completely blown out of proportion.  What I realized was that my big fear is currently my best reality!  

Photo by Josh Felise

Reflections of My 20 Year Old Self

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