In the Midst of Change
At my last therapy appointment, my therapist commented that I have changed quite a bit since starting therapy over a year ago. I can feel that change too even though it is difficult to pinpoint. I walk a little taller and am more in tune with my body. I am also more aware of my thoughts and if I'm feeling uneasy, frustrated, or annoyed I am more capable of asking myself what exactly is bothering me. Sometimes the solution is easy, I'm hungry, I need fresh air, I need to relax. But sometimes, the answer is elusive and my recovery time back to contentment is slow. This unearthing of my being has a learning curve to it.
But it feels good to perceive my own transformation, even if it is subtle and still in development. I'm learning to speak up and show more of my personality. At the same time, I have to consciously remind myself to use my voice. Candidness is my work in progress. Relationships are also shifting for me. How do you teach people who you are after they've known you one way forever? I'm figuring out that I just be me and those who are meant to be in my life, well, our relationship will mold probably without us even realizing it.
Finally, some things that are very much me have only firmed up more in this process. My likes and interests are even more solid- reading, baseball, creativity, spirituality, travel. It is lovely to think that certain aspects of me, I have carried and enjoyed most of my life. Everyone needs their totems, even through periods of self-imposed change.
I continue to be confounded by therapy and it's revelations. And I continue to want to share them :).